Please, I want to be a fanatic, Sir

Death is the only truth of life. We can see it everywhere. We can feel it, sense it, even smell it and, ultimately, experience it.
I know the end (let us assume it is the End), and I know the beginning. Now I’m tired of waiting, watching, worrying, wondering, wandering. And whispering to the life. Am I the rain? or the butterfly? I could even be a tiny molecule impelled by their vibrations. Am I the storm, or a whole ecosystem of knowledge and ignorance?
"I would like to be a fanatic, sir. To assume a truth, a clear path. I want to bear the flag of mindless illumination and blow the horn to call vast marching hordes of ignorance, and happiness".
"But lad, when you bit the apple, you have to eat it whole. The quest for one’s own path is part of the fun of life. By the way. Don’t forget to plant the seed for another tree. The one that comes behind you, may need an apple too".